It was October when my loved one had a Health scare. A trip to the hospital, very relaxed healthcare workers – not mimicking the stress of my loved one or myself – and a definitive “follow up with your physician in a week.”

The follow-up came, tests were ordered, an appointment made for the following January. Test results came back with more serious news than we were expecting and very big, very serious words were being thrown around. 

A big test ordered and completed. The outcome definitive, a very serious surgery lies before us. By this time, my loved one and I had done a lot of research independently, unaware that the other had done the same and started to gather enough knowledge to start to quell our concerns. Each person feeling the same way – let’s get this done. 

The waiting continues…

The toggle between healthcare and life is such a delicate balance. On one side you’re getting very clinical very quick answers. On the other side, your heart is breaking and your mind is racing.  

The human experience.

The emotional swing is something that’s very real. It can either drive a relationship between a loved one and caregiver closer together or it can cause a vast divide. At times it can just make things indifferent, or cause no change at all. All real responses and all correct for the situation at hand.

For my loved one and I, at least from my perspective, I feel that there’s a closeness a “we are in this together” type of thing. There is definite fear, confusion and worry, but it has changed the relationship I have with my God as well. So I keep laying it at His feet, even though my stupid brain keeps picking it back up and carrying it some more.

Appointment coming soon to talk to the surgeons and make the date official, so we hope. Both my loved one and I have a lot of faith that answers will be coming soon.

It all remains to be seen.